Bread and Butter Pickles

As I whined last week, a co-worker arrived at the office prepared to rid himself of a reusable WalMart bag brimming with garden cucumbers plucked from his partner's parents' backyard. It seems said parents have vacationed to New Zealand, so he's been trusted to tend to their garden in the meantime, with free reign to do what he sees fit with the harvest. Basically, these cucumbers needed a dumping ground, and my beat of wishy-washy hesitation in answering his offer was just enough time for him to hastily pass the whole bag off to a semi-willing dope before darting outside for a smoke.

The weight of the bag falling into my hand surprised me - as did finding 22 of the damn things when I peered inside (7 pounds, if you were wondering). What was a cucumber hater going to do with 22 cucumbers?

Easy. Make the only wholly comprised of cucumbers item I find acceptable: pickles.

We'd been planning on taking the time this summer to learn how to preserve foods, and my cucumber surplus was certainly a cause for a baptism by fire. Even at that, they were so good I was picking at the molten-hot pickles while they were still in the brine, and the three co-workers (including the cucumber dumper) I brought jars to this morning finished them within a half hour of receiving them.

You will need:

5 pounds cucumbers
1 cup kosher salt (can also use pickling salt – do not use iodized salt)
5 cups cider vinegar
5 cups sugar
1-1/2 pounds onion

1 head of garlic, cloves peeled, smashed and chopped in half
2 tablespoons yellow mustard seed
1 tablespoon celery seed

½ tablespoon turmeric
1 tablespoon black pepper

Dissolve the salt in a large pot with 6 quarts of water. Once the salt is dissolved, add the cucumber pieces and stir. Cover the pot and leave it somewhere cool overnight (or 8-12 hours). The refrigerator is preferable, but a dark basement or pantry would be fine also. 

The next day, combine the vinegar and sugar in a pot over medium heat. Stir until the sugar dissolves.

Slice the onion into very thin rings, and cut the rings in half (small enough to fit into your canning jars). Add to the vinegar mixture and stir. 

Add the mustard seed, celery seed, turmeric and black pepper to the pot.

Drain your cucumber pieces thoroughly (do not rinse!) and add them to the pot. 

Stir and allow the mixture to just barely boil, then turn off heat and allow the cucumbers to soak in the vinegar while you prepare your canning jars. 

Sterilize your canning jars, lids and bands in hot (not boiling) water for at least 10 minutes. 

When your pickles are ready to can, remove the bands for easier handling at room temperature, then remove the jars and lids one by one. Drop a few cloves of garlic into the bottom of the jar, and then using a wide-mouth canning funnel, pour the pickles and brine into the jars, leaving one half inch of headspace at the top of the jar. Wipe the rims of the jars to dry and wipe off the lids before placing on top of the jar, then seal the band finger-tight.

Drop the cans into a hot water bath (full rolling boil) for 10 minutes to kill any existing organisms. After 10 minutes, turn off the heat and let the jars sit in the cooling water for 5 minutes. Remove the jars to a towel and leave undisturbed for 12 to 24 hours. 

Check the seals on your lids after an hour or so – they should pop audibly when sealing shut, and shouldn’t flex when you apply pressure to the lid. If they do, immediately reprocess in the hot water bath. 

Yield: 4 pints (we packaged ours in half pints - easier to give away).

New Life and a Black Thumb

I am so smitten with these tee-tiny baby eggplants. This one can't be bigger than my thumb, but it's already vibrantly purple. I check up on it every day, thrilled with its progress as it progressively increases in size.

 

Same goes for these - they're called Jellybean Tomatoes. They grow on a chain, like grapes. I'm willing to bet that the majority of these adorable little babies won't even make it into the house.
 

Why did I accept a bag of 21 cucumbers from a co-worker? I don't even LIKE cucumbers - I feel like they make everything else on my plate taste like cucumbers. But I do like pickles...guess this is as good a time as any to learn how to pickle and can.

I accepted 21 cucumbers from a coworker. Even though I don't like them. Even though we have our own growing in the backyard.

I should let you know that this garden is Josh's handiwork, by my request. "I don't want to have anything to do with it," I told him. "I'm a jinx and I'll kill everything." He laughed of course, but I don't think it's far from the truth to call myself a jinx.

My dad has always remarked on my "black thumb," reminding me every summer I tell him that I'm giving gardening yet another shot, of when I was little and so excited about the prospect of food growing in the back yard. One year he offered to put aside a little patch of soil just for me, and I planted strawberries, flowers and string beans. Needless to say, none of the plants yielded, due to my inattention (forgetting to water) or excessive attention (drowning them when I remembered I forgot to water), and as probably anticipated, they all very quickly shriveled up and died in the hot Texas sun. My plant slaughter wasn't exclusive to that one summer, otherwise I might think differently.

Alas, it holds true to this day. Last Saturday while it rained and rained and rained, I found myself desperate for cilantro. Despite having a new rational fear of rain, I ran outside to pluck a few sprigs from the already-fledgling plant. In my haste, I managed to pull the whole damn thing out of the ground, roots and all. I briefly considered re-planting it as I stood there soaked and bewildered, but dejected with the realization that my father was right, I instead returned to the house wet with a fistfull of dirty cilantro, knowing that I'd have stay far away for the rest of the summer, lest I harm any more innocent vegetation.

Is it possible that people really are predestined to have either a green or black thumb? Or am I just clumsy, forgetful and impulsive?

I miss my cilantro.

Shrimp and Pineapple Curry with Coconut Rice

Josh and I have been thinking about Thai food for a while. Neither of us have ever eaten at a Thai restaurant - even though we are more or less surrounded by them. Even though I've gotten numerous recommendations for numerous restaurants. Even though one of the best in town is literally around the corner from our office. The truth is, I've been a little scared.

I assumed that Thai = too spicy. Don't get me wrong - I'm a Texas girl and I can get down with some spicy. Nevertheless, I've been more than hesitant to go out and spend money on a meal I may not enjoy.

Anyway, last night I initiated our typical dinner debate, which tends to go something like this:

Me: What's for dinner?
Josh: I don't know.
Me: Well, what are you in the mood for?
Josh: I don't know.
Me: What about (insert any number of dishes in my repertoire, ranging from ribs to salad, grilled salmon to chili, ham to buffalo wings)
Josh: Any of that would be fine.

Then I get frustrated and start flipping through cookbooks for inspiration. From a roommate somewhere along the way I inherited a great book called The Cook's Companion (Lorraine Turner), which I don't utilize as much as should, considering that last night's dinner was outstanding.
It was also the perfect starter/introductory Thai dish, which means I'm now very excited to try that little place around the corner from our office.

I served the coconut curried shrimp and pineapple over a bed of coconut-vanilla rice, remembering mid-preparation a post I read on How Sweet It Is. I did not follow Jessica's recipe exactly; I used salt, omitted the red pepper and used less coconut flakes, but I must say: wow. I thought I had lost Josh on the rice when he wandered into the kitchen and after he expressed surprise at finding me cooking rice (I never do), I told him we were having coconut-vanilla rice. As always, he kindly acknowledged my strange creation, but I could smell his uncertainty from a mile away. Of course he was a good sport, loading it up on his plate before taking a taste, but found that he did enjoy it quite a bit.

A note about Thai fish sauce - I had to search the Asian Market (I love living in a melting pot) to find it. It smells funny and when I opened the bottle it hissed, steamed and fizzed like a bottle of soda before it exploded all over my hands and kitchen counter. Not pleasant. What gives? Anybody have experience with the stuff?

For the shimp and pineapple curry, you will need (from The Cook's Companion):

2 cups coconut milk
Half of one fresh pineapple, skinned, cored and chopped (I found that this was too much for my taste - next time I'll reduce it to a quarter)
1 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 tbs red curry paste
2 tbs Thai fish sauce
2 tsp sugar
1 clove garlic, minced
Handful cilantro, chopped finely
Salt and pepper to taste

Add coconut milk, pineapple, curry paste, fish sauce and sugar to a pan. Heat over medium heat until almost boiling. Add cilantro and shrimp and cook over low heat until shrimp is cooked, about 4 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve over coconut rice (recipe follows).

For the coconut rice, you will need (adapted slightly from How Sweet It Is:

1 cup white rice (jasmine would work well also)
1/2 cup coconut milk
1/2 - 1 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Contents of 1/2 a vanilla bean + pod for simmering
1/4 cup finely shredded coconut
Salt to taste

Combine water, milk, vanilla extract, coconut, vanilla "caviar" and vanilla bean pod in a saucepan and add rice. Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer until rice has absorbed liquid, about 15-20 minutes. Remove vanilla bean pods and salt to taste.

White Sangria

I like a good red wine, but I enjoy it more in the winter. Summer calls for light, refreshing, cold, fruity cocktails, perfect for bringing to the backyard porch swing and rocking gently while your boyfriend absentmindedly strums his guitar.

At least that's what I had in mind for this sangria. The aforementioned scenario never actually happened, but I'm hopeful that it still could. In any event - man, this was easy.

You will need:

Medium-dry white wine (I used a blend of Pinot Grigio and Chablis)

Dry or brut sparkling wine/Champagne

12 ounces white grape or white grape-peach juice

2 whole peaches, sliced into wedges

2 whole limes, sliced into rounds

Handful green grapes to your liking, sliced in half lengthwise

Handful sliced frozen strawberries

Fresh mint leaves (optional)

In a pitcher or beverage server, pour equal parts wine and grape juice, filling the pitcher 3/4 full.

Add all fruit aside from strawberries and stir. Allow the mixture to refrigerate for at least an hour, but up to 4. When ready to serve, add strawberries and mint if using to pitcher, and top pitcher with champagne. Stir gently.

Serve without ice, making sure all glasses are served with some of the cold fruit from the pitcher!

Pork Francese for One

Today's guest post comes from my dad. As is the case with the rest of my family, he has an appreciation for good food, and while I haven't tried it myself, I'm sure this variation of the classic Chicken Francese is as delicious as he claims.

***

Just because you have no choice but to eat solo is no reason not to eat like Un Re (A King). Like many of you, your significant other may not be able to join you for every meal. My sweetheart Marjorie works 3 nights a week, but you'll never catch this paesano eating out of a can.


This is simple, fast and delizioso!
7 - 8 ounces thin boneless pork chop or pork cutlet
salt and freshly ground pepper
1 egg
1/4 cup flour (or just enough to coat both sides)
1/4 cup of chicken broth (if you don't have canned broth, you can substitute a chicken bouillon cube or powder, just reduce the amount of salt on the meat and egg)
4 - 5 ounces dry white wine
2 tablespoons lemon juice (preferably fresh, though bottled could substitute)
1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1-1/2 tablespoons butter
1/2 tablespoon parsley (dried will substitute just fine)
Lemon slices

If meat is not 1/4-inch thick, use a pounder. Sprinkle with salt and pepper (see note of caution regarding salt above).

Break egg into a shallow bowl, season with salt and pepper (again see note of caution regarding salt above) and beat until well blended. Spread flour on waxed paper. Mix together the broth, wine, and lemon juice in a measuring cup.

Heat the oil and butter in a skillet over medium heat until sizzling. Dip the pork in the flour, then the egg, and add to the pan in a single layer. If you have excess egg, add that to the hot oil and butter, creating a mini fried egg. Cook 3 minutes per side, until golden brown. Adjust the heat so the butter doesn't burn. Transfer the pork (and cooked egg) to a plate and put aside. Add the broth mixture (broth, wine, lemon juice) to the pan, raise the heat, and heat until slightly thickened (a minute or two). Stir in the parsley. Return the pork to the pan and turn once or twice in the sauce. Serve with lemon slices on top.

Alyssa's 8th Birthday

I've been itching to entertain. Since Josh and I had yet to throw a party at our place, when conversations about Alyssa's birthday started coming up, my mind started racing. We quickly decided that we would go all-out, to simultaneously satisfy my entertaining itch, and to give her an 8th birthday to remember. Or hopefully remember. Try as I might, I can remember my 7th and 10th birthdays, but 8 and 9 are for some reason lost forever. Good thing we're in the age of the digital camera!

Alyssa made up her mind while I decorated Andrea's birthday cake back in April that she wanted a heart-shaped, pink strawberry cake for her birthday, much like the one we made for her last year...

...which was monstrous. Rich, crazy decadent, and tipping the scales at 10 pounds of sweet birthday evil. Or goodness, depending on the circumference of your waist.

So we designed the whole party around the cake. I did my best to channel my inner Amy Atlas, found leftover Valentine's decorations at various dollar stores (I was surprised but giddy to find them in June), created a dessert table, and did the place up in pink, red and white.

I'm pretty proud to say I did this all myself...cooking, baking, decorating. It's nice to remind myself from time to time that my degree in Event Management didn't go completely to waste. Josh told me "I don't want you to stress about this." So I started everything on Tuesday, and listed out what to do and when to do it throughout the rest of the week.

I'm a chronic list maker. They make me feel in-control.

The heart/pink/red theme was also carried over into some of the food:

 533 pink and white marshmallows, counted by hand...the winner took them all home (thank God)

Pink Party Punch (Simply Raspberry lemonade, Sprite and frozen raspberries)

                                                         Muddy Buddies with red M&Ms

Candied pecans

Strawberry Whoppers

Chocolate covered strawberries

 White sangria...for the grownups only, of course

 Cookies, dyed with red food coloring and decorated with royal icing

Maui onion dip

 And of course, the birthday cake!

The turnout was great. We came up with some great games, Josh surprised me with a hidden talent:

And everyone enjoyed themselves - especially the birthday girl!

Happy birthday, Alyssa! I hope it was everything you wanted and more than you expected.

Homemade BBQ Sauce

 My dad managed to weasel this recipe out of a woman he was doing business with in Johnson City, Tennessee, long before Tennessee was on my radar. He took to making it in giant batches, bottling it up in Mason jars to keep for an entire summer. Summers full of magical spare ribs and grilled chicken followed, all treated to a good Texas-sized dousing of the sweet, tangy sauce. I crave it by the spoonful (but I refrain).

For some reason it had long intimidated me, so I never gave it a shot. In fact, though I had begged my dad for the recipe, it sat in my email inbox for almost 2 years before I decided to just go for it. On what better occasion than Memorial Day, when I had 8 hungry people to feed?

Here's the original recipe, scanned (thanks Dad!), plus some possible substitutions. 

If you don't have: Kitchen Bouquet

Substitute: Additional Worcestershire sauce or  equal amount of Liquid Smoke

If you don't have: Molasses

Substitute: 1/3 cup honey plus 1/3 cup brown sugar

The "vinegar" is pretty generic. My dad uses red wine vinegar, I used apple cider.

Then, just as it says, mix and refrigerate. Go ahead...dump it all in a bowl.

Taste and adjust to your liking. I know for a fact that I splashed in extra Worcestershire, garlic powder and honey, so make it your own!

Store as you see fit. As I said, my dad cans his in Mason jars, but I just repurposed the empty ketchup bottle.